I think I have mentioned this before but I love beginnings.
I find such joy in them. They are full of hope and wonder. The possibility of what may happen.
This is probably the main reason I love my birthday so much. It marks the beginning of another year for me. The end of one age and the beginning of another. I’m sure this Wednesday came as a relief to my family, friends and coworkers, they won’t have to hear about my child like excitement about my upcoming birthday for about year. I know many people (even those my age and younger) who don’t like their birthdays, they don’t like the idea of getting older. But, like I mentioned last year, I love growing up.
Growing up doesn’t mean forgetting your past or trying to act like an “adult” for the sake of being an adult. To me, growing up is all about embracing who you were in the past but not letting that define you. Even the not so nice parts. Sure there are plenty of things I would like to forget about my young self, the mean things I said others, the mean things I said to myself, my critical nature. But those things helped me become who I am now at age twenty-three. If I weren’t so critical and unsure of myself in middle and high school, would I be such an idealist now? Would I care about my youth the way I do now if I was the person I always wanted to be?
Even now there I things I wish I could change about my self, personality things or otherwise (
shocking, I know) But instead of hiding from them like I used to now I work on embracing or changing them. And I am excited to see how those things change in the next year.
The beginning of my last year, I had no real direction. But now I have an idea of what I want to do and I am excited to see how that pans out this next year. I’m excited to see what people I will meet this next year and what new things I will be able to do.
Parts of me are afraid things aren’t going to work out but I am determined to not let that stop me from trying.
I love every birthday, I love having this markers and being to say, “I’m not the same person I was last year, when I turned twenty-two”
And one year from now, when I turn twenty-four, I am hoping I will be able to say “I’m not the same person I was last year, when I turned twenty-three”
Twenty-three, it will be a good year.