Dear stranger that broke into my car,
The last time someone did this they broke my locks and I haven’t yet been able to get them fixed so first I would just like to thank you for not breaking a window. It is far to cold for that. (also, the person who broke my locks actually stole my car, so thanks for not doing that either)
If you are cold and just want to stay out of the wind, that’s fine. Recline the seat, take a nap, but I will be leaving for work at 7:20. You will not be joining me, I will send you on your way with some breakfast.
If you are here to steal things, I’m sorry. I have nothing for you to steal. I know my ’97 Subaru Outback makes it seem like I would have lots of nice things, but it is just an illusion. Well, I did have a car charger. But you took care of that.
Feel free to rummage all you would like but please don’t break anything. Please. If I haven’t shelled out the cash to get my locks fixed I probably will not be able to get whatever you decide to break fixed for a while.
One last thing, when you leave, please close the door all the way. It is far too cold to have my door open for that long.
Tracy (the owner of this delightful station wagon)