I am not a rebel. I always do what is expected of me. I do what I think will make certain people proud of me and I very rarely do things just because I want to.

But one of my two thousand twelve new year’s resolutions is to be selfish.
And another two thousand twelve resolution is to be braver and have more adventures. 

Maybe selfish isn’t the right word for this.
I don’t mean selfish like I’m going to stop caring about other people or have a complete disregard for other people’s feelings and whatnot

But I told myself I am going to start doing the things that I want to do, just because I want to do them.
I told myself that it is okay to be a little irresponsible sometimes.
I told myself to not be so hard on myself when I make mistakes.
I told myself I am not not going to do something just because I am scared.

That is my attempt at selfishness and bravery.

So today I got my nose pierced. Just because I wanted to. My best friend and I have been talking about getting them done. And a local (non-sketchy) piercing place was having a special. So we decided to do it.

I had my rent paid for the month, my tithe checks written, money put in savings, grocery shopping done, had money left on my Costco gas card. And I still had money left over. So I did it. (So maybe I wasn’t entirely irresponsible but I definitely could have used that 30 dollars for something else)

We were obviously the least hardcore people in the whole place, but I still felt like a bad ass. A nervous bad ass, but a bad ass nevertheless. There was a man getting the nape of his neck pierced and was less nervous than I was. He also claimed that it didn’t hurt. He kind of made me feel more like a lame middle schooler than a bad ass. I don’t believe him, that it didn’t hurt… but I digress.
I felt like a bad ass (most of the time) and a rebel even though I’m an adult and don’t have to ask somebody’s permission before I do things like this and even though people get outlandish things pierced all of the time and a nose piercing isn’t even outlandish.

It was a good feeling, to do this just because I wanted to.

So, with my freshly pierced nose I am looking forward to two thousand twelve and what other adventures may come my way.

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